It's Good to Be YOU

Honestly, I began this poem over two months ago on my flight home from Project Dance New York (already very much in an exhausted-but-still-overflowing-with-Jesus state of mind & heart).

The very napkin that inspired the poetry. Love how God speaks wherever & however He wants to.
And yes - that's my gum flattened nicely in the napkin which now resides in my current journal.

I later completed the poem over several afternoons at work as I was waiting to assist with various patients.

I love being able to go back & read something and see how it was really the Holy Spirit wanting to get His point(s) out to me. Hope that you are encouraged & reminded of the LORD's purpose for where He currently has you & will continue to lead you.

"IT'S GOOD TO BE YOU" is how the napkin read,

My tired eyes soon filled with tears as I slowly nod my head.

I fear that my next thoughts will be too cliche,

When I say we're unique in our own special ways.

But regardless my feelings I know that it's true,

Each day we can walk in good works that are new.

Too oft I grow weary of life's simple tasks,

Because I forgot in His glory to bask.

My soul craves this infusion of purpose and vision,

That I may obey always in joyful submission.

Since God isn't dead then neither am I!

All I need is His Word, not a big, flashy sign.

One day and one step is His steadfast lead,

Thank God for the grace of this promise to heed.

He's faithful, He's holy, He's just and He's true!

What's more, God's whole plan must involve me and you.

I plead with Him daily for new eyes to see,

All the people who don't know His gifts that are free.

I want to encourage, reach out, and speak up,

Lord, help me pour out from this over flown cup.

UNEMPLOYED

adjective
(of a person) without a paid job but available to work

AVAILABLE
adjective
(of a person) not otherwise occupied; free to do something

FOR FREEDOM Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. - Galatians 5:1



Maybe it's all in my head, and it's definitely been all of three days, but I'm enjoying/determined TO enjoy this brief season of not having a 40hr/wk commitment.
And let's be real - it's EASY to be lighthearted right now. I'd really like to have a 40hr/wk answer within the next two weeks. Just sayin'.

But there's SO MUCH immediately before me that I am now free to do!
--vacuum & clean the inside of my car
--update the books I'm selling on Amazon
--begin serious prep for Project Dance Atlanta this October
--write more poetry
--meet up with old & new friends
--take a yoga class that's NOT via Youtube
--read, read, and read some more
--clean the kitchen for my Abulous little sister
--work out not at 5:00am :) (I do it, but it's not my very favorite)
--find more ways to bring AWARENESS, RESCUE, and RESTORATION in my every day life

And drink as much coffee as I want to...but that's not really any different. :-)

I'm excited for this new season!!
New places, new people, new responsibilities...let the future begin!


And this is the sunrise from last Friday.
Because I'm sappy enough to take pictures of the beginning of endings.

Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original. - Galatians 5:25-26

Dumbed down

"dumb something down" informal
simplify or reduce the intellectual content of something so as to make it accessible to a larger number of people

something I said back in September: "Particularly in the area of dancing, I was ready to bury that passion and that gift because it doesn't look like the way it used to........As I inclined more and said, 'God, I want to be more like you, I want to be emptied of me and filled with YOU,' that's when HE was able to step in and say, 'Let me change your definition and alter your perspective, and help you lift your eyes to see ME through this'." 


What a productive, encouraging morning I've had today. Praise Jesus. :-)
I was sharing this morning with my very dear friend/mentor/aunt/elder about all that I've been doing and God has been showing me during this final quarter of school. Most significant "goosebump" moments for both of us are the practicum hours I've been able to do, and how they SO specifically use my passion AND my experience (and education, I suppose).
For the past seven weeks, I've gotten to assist and lead multiple ladies with "special needs" through simplistic ballet, jazz & pilates classes. What freshly occurred to me the other day was how dancing has once again become a regular part of my life, but not at all in the fashion I could have guessed. I'm not physically able to do everything I could do five years ago, but I am amply qualified to instruct those who are even less capable....and what a different motivation you have when you're suddenly responsible for how others turn out. ("suddenly" is the wrong word....)
As I lead these precious, mentally/physically handicapped people through some fun, free movement, I can't help but thank God for using the foolish things to shame the wise.

²⁶ For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards,not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. ²⁷ But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; ²⁸ God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, ²⁹ so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. (1st Corinthians 1, ESV)

What a gift I've been given; to understand what it's like to have to slow down, pace myself - not push myself - and realize that whatever capability I have can still be used to instruct and encourage OTHERS. It is never, never, never about me. Never.
If I go when/where God says go, then of course He will be with me whenever/wherever I am.

And, "dumbing down" is not a bad thing. Not if it serves to make Jesus more accessible to more people. I think that's what has happened/IS happening. When God works something together for good, my good is equivalent to HIS GLORY - if God's not being glorified, then it can't be good.
Foolish, weak, low, despised ---> God wants it!

If I'll quit making excuses and just keep on walking forward, there's no way I can lose because God can use anything that's willing. I feel like crying. :-)
God is just so faithful. so Worthy. so True.

So thankful. I hope I don't get over this anytime soon.
((current song))

from Him, through Him, to Him = all things

Just for the record, I hate the word "coincidence" and the Christian-ized version, "God-incidence".

Let's just say that God is in control of everything and we should all really stop acting so surprised by that fact.

Pondering this evening why God allows certain people to tell me certain things.

Exhibits A & B:
I am LOVING the opportunity I have this quarter to both assist and lead gymnastics & dance classes for mentally/physically handicapped ladies of all ages. It's VERY easy to believe that God is passionate about defending their cause and speaking up for them.

But a couple weeks ago, one of the ladies, Leslie, "randomly" began talking about her dad with me. How he had been crying all the time recently and wasn't acting like himself. I asked her if I could pray for him and she said yes, because her mom was really tired, too.
Her dad's name is Vincent, if you care to pray with me.

Just this evening, another girl turned me and said, "My mom's having surgery tomorrow. I hope her stomach feels better after that." I can't just smile and nod at something like that; this young lady needs to know that I'm standing and agreeing with her that GOD can heal her mom.

Need to begin living again as if I BELIEVE that EVERY appointment is a "divine appointment".



What a shift.

Maybe that's why God has been gracious enough to let me look forward to monthly doctor appointments.
It's really not about me or even how I'm feeling. It's about Dennis & Kelly in the chairs next to me every month needing to see Jesus. Needing someone next to them who can they can relate to & laugh with. (and this whole once-a-month deal is a really easy commitment to keep, haha.)

Maybe that's why I don't believe people when they tell me that, "Oh that professor is ok, but he can get really boring when he talks for a while."
Seriously? Newsflash: so can YOU. I thought it was silly before to make random notes about personal stories & random facts that teachers would share, but it's not! What a sweet way to see people with titles as just being people. Still with respect, but minus the unrealistic expectations.



That's all I've got for now.
Just wanting to live like I believe everything I read in the Bible.

Qualified

"qualified": be entitled to a particular benefit or privilege by fulfilling a necessary condition

My younger sister said something to me this past weekend that finally cause me to see her as much older than her 16 years -

"You know, Emily, I if I could, I would have your MS for you."

My sister has plenty of health issues on her own, that I would consider much scarier than mine.
It's so different to empathize rather than owning it for yourself. I am still so humbled by her statement.

Being seven years into this particular stretch of the journey that the Lord has me on, I know I wouldn't trade what He has done. Because of my "disability", this on-again/off-again illness, I'm suddenly (or not so suddenly) finding myself qualified for positions that I would otherwise have no business being a part of.

If I choose to, I can humbly walk in this grace-filled path before me and pour into others along the way.
I have such a gift! As I complete my undergraduate degree over the next five months, I'm so eager to see what doors will continue to open as I serve diligently and forge more relationships. I just love being a living example of the Truth that He makes ALL things work together for my good. all things.

Lord, that I would use this authority You've given me with wisdom, tact and grace.

This is my life work: helping people understand and respond to this Message. It came as a sheer gift to me, a real surprise, God handling all the details. When it came to presenting the Message to people who had no background in God's way, I was the least qualified of any of the available Christians. God saw to it that I was equipped, but you can be sure that it had nothing to do with my natural abilities.

And so here I am, preaching and writing about things that are way over my head, the inexhaustible riches and generosity of Christ. My task is to bring out in the open and make plain what God, who created all this in the first place, has been doing in secret and behind the scenes all along.

~Ephesians 3:6-9, The Message

weakness window

Ponder-
several "strong" people that I know are currently facing some serious physical weaknesses.

Yet, it's through their frustration, angst and questions that I'm now able to see Jesus so clearly in their lives.

As they cry out - He answers.
As they surrender - He delivers.
As they weep - He comforts.
As they draw near - He draws near.

O Lord, help me do whatever it takes to lay down my pride...that my own weaknesses might be a window for others to see YOU. Help me to seek YOUR GLORY, and not my own.

Let another praise you, and not your own mouth;

a stranger, and not your own lips. - Proverbs 27:2, ESV

It is not good to eat much honey,

nor is it glorious to seek one's own glory. - Proverbs 25:27, ESV

Passionate?

passionate (adjective)

-having, compelled by, or ruled by intense emotion or strong feeling; fervid

Somehow the deeper thoughts of my life goals and ambitions always come up during finals time.

Am I passionate or just emotional?

Am I purposeful or just idealistic?

I feel like I give a different answer EVERY time someone asks me what I'm "passionate" about or what my goals are. I know there are causes, people, purposes and activities that motivate me, but I have a difficult time condensing it all down and expressing it clearly within a few minutes. (haha, maybe that's why I enjoy limericks? They don't have to make sense, just rhyme!)

How would I narrow this down?

I'm passionate about:

-God. Jesus. Holy Spirit. His Name + His Renown = the desire of my soul.

-People! family, friends, enemies, strangers, all of them. Whoever and wherever, God is the One who allowed our paths to cross and He has a purpose for that moment - whether the moment lasts for 2 seconds or 20 years.

-Serving others. Understanding what would MOST bless the other person, then carrying that out.

-Helping others believe that they're perfectly capable of doing more than they think they're able to do. *Specifically my motivation for wanting to pursue recreational therapy - take a different avenue to convince someone that they can still physically use whatever they have.

-Greeting others cheerfully! I've noticed that people are not as likely to smile unless they feel obligated to return one that's being extended to them. (or they get creeped out & avoid eyesight altogether. :-)

-Praying. God has been so faithful to teach me how simple it is to remain in His will (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) by preparing myself to remain joyful, prayerful and thankful. As I'm lifting up the needs of others before the Father and leaving them in His hands, I cannot help but rejoice, be thankful & compelled to pray even more.

-Ending slavery. Due largely to the influence that the 268 Generation has had in my life over the past 3 years, my focus for the Kingdom of God to come on earth has expanded beyond my own community. (Though I do LOVE the community God has placed me in and I KNOW that He is seen through me, in every interaction I have with people.) My perspective has shifted to the point that I truly DO believe that all things are possible with God (Mark 10:27). Why not give the copper coins that I have and believe that my God will multiply all that I surrender to Him?! He created the universe. He knows the thoughts and motives of every single person that He created to exist in the universe. GOD IS MASSIVE! How small of me to think that just because I cannot wrap my finite thoughts around a "problem" means that there's no point in doing anything.

-Eliminating debt. (which will help me do more - financially, at least - to end slavery!) I'm a bit ashamed at the thought of entering a marriage with my student loan debt, so that causes me to practice frugality, have a plan and wisely use the resources God has entrusted to me.

-Instructing others (specifically, younger girls) in purity. (and I don't just mean the clothes they wear, though that is important, too.) I've had such a gift from growing up with four brothers to learn from, a little sister to set an example for and parents that fed us Proverbs on a daily basis. I deeply desire for younger girls to know their worth in Christ and that nothing & nobody else is able to fulfill or complete them. He's better.

-Steadfastness. (this is the word God is having me focus on this year.) I'm enjoying my time in college because I know that it will bear fruit and help prove that I am able to make a commitment and complete it with excellence. I enjoy the coursework and all of the people I'm able to meet and encourage during this process, but it's only the Holy Spirit interceding for me that has me following through.

-Patience. I've recently purposed to remove the phrase, "I can't wait!" from my vocabulary...because when I say that, what I really mean is that I'm so excited, I can wait. Ready example for many 20-something girls, their future spouse. I'm so convinced of God's higher thoughts and ways that I can wait for His timing to unfold and write a story that's worth sharing with future (& present) generations.

-Diligence. The reason why I must end this thought onslaught and go pick up my flashcards again. :-) First final of the week in 12.5 hours? No problem.

Also, rather fittingly, the song I've been stuck on lately: "You Are My Passion" (Jesus Culture)

Verse 1:

I'm alive to bring glory to You, King
God of victory, You are my passion
It's in the way You are, You don't change at all
Great and humble God, You are my passion

Pre-chorus:

My strength in life is I am Yours
My soul delights because I am Yours

Your will on earth is all I'm living for

Chorus:

Jesus, I glorify; Jesus, my love is Yours
You are my heart's desire; I live to know You more

Verse 2:

Light that breaks the darkness, showing what true love is
Always full of goodness, You are my passion
You never do me wrong, the meekest Man, but strong
The most perfect song, You are my passion.