Qualified

"qualified": be entitled to a particular benefit or privilege by fulfilling a necessary condition

My younger sister said something to me this past weekend that finally cause me to see her as much older than her 16 years -

"You know, Emily, I if I could, I would have your MS for you."

My sister has plenty of health issues on her own, that I would consider much scarier than mine.
It's so different to empathize rather than owning it for yourself. I am still so humbled by her statement.

Being seven years into this particular stretch of the journey that the Lord has me on, I know I wouldn't trade what He has done. Because of my "disability", this on-again/off-again illness, I'm suddenly (or not so suddenly) finding myself qualified for positions that I would otherwise have no business being a part of.

If I choose to, I can humbly walk in this grace-filled path before me and pour into others along the way.
I have such a gift! As I complete my undergraduate degree over the next five months, I'm so eager to see what doors will continue to open as I serve diligently and forge more relationships. I just love being a living example of the Truth that He makes ALL things work together for my good. all things.

Lord, that I would use this authority You've given me with wisdom, tact and grace.

This is my life work: helping people understand and respond to this Message. It came as a sheer gift to me, a real surprise, God handling all the details. When it came to presenting the Message to people who had no background in God's way, I was the least qualified of any of the available Christians. God saw to it that I was equipped, but you can be sure that it had nothing to do with my natural abilities.

And so here I am, preaching and writing about things that are way over my head, the inexhaustible riches and generosity of Christ. My task is to bring out in the open and make plain what God, who created all this in the first place, has been doing in secret and behind the scenes all along.

~Ephesians 3:6-9, The Message

Facebook Fast

No, that doesn't mean click as quickly as you can to Facebook...only four days away, and I am already realizing what a disgusting amount of time I spend there. (I can't lie, it's taking an incredible amount of self-control to stay away) and I must admit, I feel rather disjointed by taking a break from my online community...but why? Since when did looking at someone's picture, reading what they're doing for the afternoon, and typing out a seven word response mean we were best friends? If you haven't yet, I highly recommend that you invest some time into reading C.S. Lewis' "The Four Loves." It will cause you to redefine 'friendship' in your own life, and realize the difference between friends, companions, acquaintances, etc...makes me want to strengthen some friendships, and end others...it's simultaneously convicting and encouraging.

I'm excited to start blogging again, I miss the Xanga days ((still have mine actually, there's some pretty funny stuff on there)). I've kept consistent journals since I was 12 years old..and lately I've really felt a pull to share what God has been showing me. I know that some day the record of my random, fourteen-year-old thoughts will serve a purpose, either in a book or simply for my own daughter to read one day. But as I grow up, I'm able to more effectively articulate and share what exactly God has going on in my life...especially now that I realize whatever happens to me affects more people than I realize. Honestly, I'm entering into a season of life that has several different focuses...

1) I'm learning ((again)) what it means to fully rely on my Savior---He is EVERYTHING. Nothinggg this world or other people have to offer will ever satisfy me; yet when I make a mistake, God is gracious enough to let me learn and (hopefully) not repeat the same mistake again.

2) I'm done ignoring things I know God has laid on my heart to do. For instance, the last few times I've fasted, I have refused to give up Facebook...ha, it's finally time. ((might have been easier if I listened the first time, but there are several reasons I'm happy to be fasting now)) Also, this blog; I know that there are things the Holy Spirit reveals to me that I'm supposed to share with more people than myself...and this is definitely a small way to start, but it's just that - a start!

3) The poetic title of this blogishness, Undiluted Grace (it's true, it took me a while to come up with something so pretty sounding) But it is so. much. more. His Grace is the reason we're alive - "the free and unmerited favor of God." I am where I am by no plans or purposes of my own, I simply chose (and choose every day) Jesus. It's not only undiluted grace, it's undeserved...I am pond scum, and yet He still chooses to use me as a vessel for His purposes. Unfathomable.

So much has been changed in my life in the past three weeks...relationally, physically, academically, spiritually...lots of tears, laughter, and hard work along the way, but I wouldn't trade it. I'm learning that what others may see as a mistake, is not always true...I've personally realized that God DOES answer prayers, and will give exactly what you ask Him for. However, what I'm asking for...doesn't always turn out to be what I truly want. But the cool part (no matter what happens!!), is that God can use anything, and work it all together for our good...if I will only get over myself and surrender my petty issues to Him.

Wow, this turned out way longer than I expected it to...but this is my current status, and there's no way I could have fit all of it into that rectangle provided by our friends at Facebook.