Pancakes

Luke 5:23-25 (English Standard Version)

²³Which is easier, to say, 'Your sins are forgiven you,' or to say, 'Rise and walk'? ²⁴But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins"—he said to the man who was paralyzed—"I say to you, rise, pick up your bed and go home." ²⁵And immediately he rose up before them and picked up what he had been lying on and went home, glorifying God.

Something I've realized that I really kind of loathe about myself, is my tendency to freak out/over-analyze/unnecessarily stress out over such minor things. No surprise that when I prayed with Dottie on Saturday night, that she really felt God telling me, "Don't sweat the small stuff." Is it any surprise that God would then use small things to prove how BIG He is? I'm running into lots of different things that God is doing so that I may know...and it's incredibly humbling.

For instance, some homework that I needed to submit online last Thursday - did not submit = no bueno. I was frustrated, e-mailed the professor who essentially said 'sorry, that sucks to be you,' and I resigned myself to receiving no credit for that work.
HOWEVER, it just so happened that the entire class was given another chance to submit that assignment! (Seriously, God?! It was one homework assignment...I had finally gotten to the point where I could swallow my pride, repent and move on - yet, Your grace floods in).


As I sit here and think
About all that You’ve done
About how You gave me Your one and only Son
And I’m trying to fathom
All that You are, but so far, Lord
You’re so beyond me...
~All I Need (Shawn McDonald)

Next, my internship! Since last fall, I've been debating whether or not I even wanted to pursue an internship...would the effort really be worth it, or is it just something else to put on a resume? It turns out that Proverbs 16:3 is no joke, and God will give you more than you ever expected. (Hence, why I found myself having to choose between 2 internships.) Well, after several e-mails, an interview, another meeting, praying and waiting for 3 weeks (which doesn't sound long, but lemme tell ya...) - I get to intern with the Atlanta Beat for at least 10 weeks this spring! (possibly longer, but we shall see) Seriously?! This was my first choice..really wanted it, didn't expect to get it, and was ready to settle (but be joyful!) for whatever God had for me. ohhh, God's timing...=)


But what finally brought me to my knees in tears is kind of ridiculous...really ridiculous, but funny & amazing and so my Savior. I was on my way home on Monday evening after the second Atl Beat meeting, stopped to get some coffee, then mom texts me asking if I'll be home for dinner. I responded with a "yesh," then kept driving; mom sent another text while I was driving, but I didn't look at it.
I pull into the driveway, feeling quite content and look at my coffee cup thinking, 'Man, I'm in the mood for breakfast...some pancakes would so match my coffee...oh well.' Then I pick up my phone before going inside, to read mom's text which says:

"Dinner is ready! Blueberry pancakes!"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!!?

The Creator of the universe, also took the time to make me pancakes for dinner. But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins - I'm making you PANCAKES for dinner. ahhhh, Lord, You are amazing.
I would plead with you - whatever you're holding on to or whatever you're waiting to see happen - just let it go. Let God. Once your plans are surrendered to Him...He is able to do far abundantly beyond anything you could ask or imagine. =) even something as silly as pancakes. He is able.

A time to TRUST

I don't know if this is true for you, but when God really wants to get a point across to me, I keep finding the same thing brought up in all these different places...it's amazing to me, how God is sure to reach us wherever we're at!

Found myself in Acts 10:20 the other morning:
"Rise and go down and accompany them without hesitation, for I have sent them."

hm. It's definitely the "without hesitation" part that consistently catches me up, holds me back..
"Emily, do you trust Me?"
"Yes Lord..."
"Then give up! My Presence shall go forth and lead you in peace."

Newsflash: the only thing I have to lose by following the Father is my own pride/agenda/timing.
A Facebook friend had this status to share:

"TRUST in Hebrew means to lie prone, or prostrate--completely helpless. Am I really trusting my Father, or am I trusting in the strength of man or myself. Praise God right where you are, and trust in His Sovereignty. He loves us!"

ah! Just praise Him! Something I did not hesitate about, was buying my plane tickets for Project Dance NY in April! (woot!) It felt kind of weird to have such peace about acting rather spontaneously, but then I read an excerpt from "Jesus Lives" and received some confirmation...=)

"Though you feel safest when your life is predictable and things seem under control, I want you to break free and discover the adventures I have planned for you. The greatest adventure of all is knowing Me abundantly: discovering how wide and long and high and deep is My Love for you...when unexpected events shake up your routines, rejoice! This is exactly what you need to wake you up and point you toward Me. Recognize that you are on the threshold of a new adventure, and that I will be with you each step of the way. As we venture out together, cling tightly to My hand. The more you abandon yourself to Me, the more exuberantly you can experience My Love."

Sweet Lord, and it wasn't until after reading all of it, that I noticed the title for that section. And it was, of course: TRUST.
(think I get it yet??) I'm feeling blessedly overwhelmed by all of this...He really does care much more for us than we can imagine...

My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.
~Ephesians 3:14-19, The Message

New year. Same God. Hallelujah!

(morning of New Year's Eve)
God is so very sweet, and I'm so very expectant for all that He has in store for 2010. Ready to move forward...to abide in Him and be active in pursuing all that He has...

"I Am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." ~ John 15:5

"I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ." ~Philemon 1:6

Praise the Lord! Father, would You let these words You've given me increase for Your Glory...ha, "AA" - my battery for 2010. love it. =)
Okay, and I have to lay on some Psalms,,,all of these were in "Jesus Calling" at some point this week, and I've seen the reality of every single one at some point in 2009...

Psalm 40:3
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

Psalm 56:3-4
But when I am afraid,
I will put my trust in You.
I praise God for what He has promised.
I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
What can mere mortals do to me?

Psalm 62:8
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to Him,
for God is our refuge.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
=)
It was a different sort of New Year's Eve...nothing terribly epic, most of my siblings somewhere else...but I realized how I'm so thankful to have entered the new year with such peace and quiet. And Seinfeld. (haha! I love my dad) Seriously though, it is such a welcome twist after 2009...I sat there watching the peach drop with my mom tonight, ready to cry, only thinking "wow, God...wow - You did it (again)." There were numerous times in 2009 that I was just weary from carrying burdens that I wasn't meant to bear. But God is faithful. FAITHFUL.


Morning by morning I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God's hand in mine
Season by season I watch Him, amazed
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He's always been faithful to me.

I can't remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain
I can't remember one single regret
In serving God only, and trusting His hand
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He's always been faithful to me.

This is my anthem, this is my song
The theme of the stories I've heard for so long
God has been faithful, He will be again
His loving compassion, it knows no end
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He's always been faithful, He's always been faithful
He's always been faithful to me.

=) thanks be to God, for His indescribable gift!!
Happy New Year.

A subtle push

There are times when I can feel the Holy Spirit prompting me to do something, and it's easy to ignore Him and move on with my own agenda. Thennn, there are times when I know that I know, that I'm about to miss out on something huge if I don't go where God is saying to go. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit is faithful to come up and subtly (or not so subtly!) propel me forward.

I don't know what kind of church you attend, or what worship style you're used to...but I'm so grateful to be in a body of people that isn't offended when someone (myself) suddenly starts sobbing or dancing in the middle of worship. Looking at this year thus far, I can now clearly define several areas where God has checked my heart and caused my perspective to align with His. Specifically in the area of dancing, I realized that I have taken this gift for granted all too often, as if it was my decision to decide when/where/how/why I dance. (which it is, but I see it more as a choice to surrender all of those parameters to God and walk in HIS will....does that make sense?) I've had several moments this year, where I've desperately wanted to dance, but was not physically capable of doing so...gave me a new gratitude for the fact that God examines our hearts during worship, not how high our hands are raised our how loudly we're singing.

But now that I can dance again - why don't I?! If God has given me a way to worship Him that allows me to expressively pour out my heart to Him...aren't I robbing God of His Glory if I choose to do the minimum, when He has equipped me with so much more? Church was amazing tonight (as always, praise the Lord!), and you could feel the definite push of the Holy Spirit going on all evening. I finally responded and began dancing...I have no idea what I did, but that's okay, because all I could do was try to express how my life is nothing without Him and how in love I am with my sustaining Love. I mean, if I continued to simply stand in my spot, I don't believe I would have sincerely been giving God my all.

When I got home this evening, God kept connecting the dots, and reminded me of what I had read in my quiet time this morning:
"Instead of grasping and controlling, you are learning to release and receive." - Jesus Calling (p326)
I was able to start dancing, because I had released my pride and my burdens and was ready to receive the garment of praise that God has for me. Worth it.
Plus, with all of the internal renovation God was working in me - it wasn't for me - it's all for HIS Glory! So it's no surprise that I found myself in Psalm 29 earlier this morning, as well.
Ahh, LORD, You are Glorious! May my life be a reflection of Your perfection...


Psalm 29 (ESV)

Ascribe to the LORD Glory

A Psalm of David.

1Ascribe to the LORD, O heavenly beings,
ascribe to the LORD glory and strength.
2Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name;
worship the LORD in the splendor of holiness.

3The voice of the LORD is over the waters;
the God of glory thunders,
the LORD, over many waters.
4The voice of the LORD is powerful;
the voice of the LORD is full of majesty.

5The voice of the LORD breaks the cedars;
the LORD breaks the cedars of Lebanon.
6He makes Lebanon to skip like a calf,
and Sirion like a young wild ox.

7The voice of the LORD flashes forth flames of fire. 8The voice of the LORD shakes the wilderness;
the LORD shakes the wilderness of Kadesh.

9The voice of the LORD makes the deer give birth
and strips the forests bare,
and in his temple all cry, "GLORY!"

10The LORD sits enthroned over the flood;
the LORD sits enthroned as king forever.
11May the LORD give strength to his people!
May the LORD bless his people with peace!

Not enough words...

...to truly capture what went down this weekend. ha, I really don't have any words in particular, but I'm going to try anyway. You know, God can tell you to do something and give you confirmation upon confirmation, yet nothing quiiite clicks until His power manifests and just consumes every part of me.

I had no idea that I would share this weekend about my MS diagnosis; I planned to be much more general/vague, but God had/has something greater in store. I'm so thankful for the people He has blessed me with that also hear from the Holy Spirit and continue to encourage me..so so so BLESSED! "where would I be, if not for Your grace, carrying me in every season?" My prayer is that whatever words I spoke or move I made were so much bigger than myself and turned everyone's focus towards my Savior - may HE receive all the glory. I'm still amazed at how humbling it is to have physical control and power taken out of my hands..well, it never really has been mine to take charge of. Yet God is gracious enough to give us a free will and then love us just the same when we lay down what we're holding on to so tightly, and reach for His hand instead.
This entire week and weekend has also helped me understand why last week seemed to suck so much - satan kept trying to distract me from what God was preparing my heart for, and it didn't work. Sweet Lord, may my life continue to bear much fruit for YOUR Kingdom. ahhh, and I'm out. God is awesome.

DIScouraged

sweet Jesus...I have never fought so hard to count it all joy. If there's ONE thing God has hammered into me this year, is that He can use all of my circumstances and work them together for good - no matter what. So, why do I currently feel so attacked?? This is not pleasant...Lord help me.

Held by His hand

"I oughta know by now that face-down at Your altar is the place where I need to start..." - B. Reith

I'm so excited for my birthday to come...haha, I am readyyy to move on to another year of life. I wouldn't trade all of these lessons that God has taught me this year, but oh my goodness - what a process it has been. I'm thankful that God knows me infinitely better than I know myself, that He did exactly what He had to in order to reach me and remove my excuses. Especially being a dancer, I'm used to controlling my own body and deciding when I do what I do. It's entirely too humbling to have that power stripped out of my hands. I hate feeling so undependable, yet God then reminds me that I am to find my strength and security in Him. I can't control what other people may expect of me, but I can control how I reflect a Christlike attitude towards them. (and it should say that I am NOT my own!)

Something that's been a little discouraging to me lately, is realizing how many discouraged friends I have currently. I must be sure that I'm speaking His truth in love, because I so badly just want to go shake them and say 'Don't you understand how this circumstance is the perfect chance to see God be glorified in your life?! You'll get to first-hand rely on HIS strength and power through your weaknesses!' Now, if I hadn't already been going through such a turbulent year, how would I be able to share this knowledge?

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1st Thessalonians 5:16-19)

^^^it's still a process, not instantaneous. Though I've also discovered, that just by having a thankful heart/attitude - it opens up my eyes to the abundance of blessings God has already placed in my life. I love driving to work/school in the mornings, and just thanking God outloud for whatever blessings come to mind...ah, He is so faithful! If only I would take the time each day to share the work He is doing in my life. (I am so thankful that He is not even close to being done with me yet.)

And, another verse my Uncle Nicholas & Auntie Dottie gave to me:

fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

I am so humbled to have recently had days where I can literally not support myself on my own two feet, and I know it has been HIS hand that continually upholds me (hallelujah). Please be encouraged to know that whether you 'feel' His presence or not - God's hand is there. Seek Him and you will find Him. (Matthew 7:7) Not being able to really dance these past few months has also heightened my perspective of worship, and makes me so thankful that God is checking our hearts. Personally, if I'm not really able to move my body, I don't feel like I'm honestly giving God my all. (but He knows me, knows what I want to be doing whether I'm physically capable of expressing it or not). So, I am definitely convicted yet still encouraged to give Him my all in EVERY area of my life; not making worship an act, but a sincere lifestyle.