TGI Wednesday

Thankful for: Mark (the book), my Mom, Jayme (b/c I want to grow up and be like her ;), Ashly (for being excited :), the 2nd cup of coffee, three year olds that sing about socks, a sneak preview of this weekend's sermon, annnnd the list goes on... =]

ha, I wonder how weird it seems that I suddenly have so much to say? Except I don't think it's all of a sudden, because I have three full journals from 2009 that would indicate otherwise. I'm so grateful for Mark 4 today, because it's helping settle this quandary for me...

²¹And He said to them, Is the lamp brought in to be put under a peck measure or under a bed, and not [to be put] on the lampstand?
²²[Things are hidden temporarily only as a means to revelation.] For there is nothing hidden except to be revealed, nor is anything [temporarily] kept secret except in order that it may be made known. ~(Mark 4:21-22, AMP)

*muchas gracias to Jayme, for pointing out that this is a season of writing =) I've tucked away His promises in my heart for quite some time, and He is causing it to spill out now.
It's also a season to increase my prayer life/habits. From Dutch Sheets, to Beth Moore, to Sarah Young, to my small group, to my dance company, to my co-workers - God has ceased to be subtle! Fortunately, journaling can also be coupled with prayer...which, a lot of the time when I'm writing it turns into praying, but I'm not being intentional, specifically praying about something in particular. (haha! Did that make any sense? It looks so vague..) hm, God must mean it when He says to pray continually.

PLUS! Encouragement from my Streams in the Desert today (via my amazing Mom):

God places Himself within our reach through His promises, and when we can actually say to Him, "You have said," He cannot say no. God must do as He has said.

Jesus desires that we would be very specific in our requests, asking for something definite. "What do you want me to do for you?" (Matt. 20:32) is the question He asks everyone who comes to Him during trials and affliction. Make your requests earnestly and specifically, if you desire definite answers. It is the aimlessness of prayer that accounts for so many seemingly unanswered prayers. Be specific in your petitions. Fill out your check for something definite, and it will be cashed at the bank of heaven when it is presented in Jesus' name. Dare to be specific with God.

"I seem to see more clearly how all the peace, happiness and power of the Christian life hinges on one thing. That one thing is taking God at His word, believing He really means exactly what He says, and accepting the very words that reveal His goodness and grace, without substituting other words or changing the precise moods and tenses He had seen fit to use."

God has been faithful to point out how I've been able to trust Him absolutely in certain areas of my life, but then choose to waver in the midst of other circumstances. (ie, 'God, of course you can heal my body, but there's no way You can get me through this quarter of school!') Yikes. How prideful to think that a season God Himself ordained, is too much for Him to handle...thank the Lord for daily (shoot, hourly!) grace, because I can get so sick of myself!

This I know, that God is for me.
¹⁰In God, whose word I praise,
in the LORD, whose word I praise,
¹¹in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
What can man do to me?

¹²I must perform my vows to you, O God;
I will render thank offerings to you.
¹³ For you have delivered my soul from death,
yes, my feet from falling,
that I may walk before God
in the light of life.
~Psalm 56

Believe it - God is for you!
And to pursue this calling to pray specifically...

So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God.
~Philippians 1:9-11 (The Message)

=) Doesn't that just make you smile?
Pass it on; pray it over someone else.

Relentless

Your love is relentless
And I'm glad for it, I'm glad for it
Your love is relentless
I am glad

Your love is relentless
And if not for it, if not for it
I'd perish for sure
If not for it
~Birmingham (We Are Safe), DC*B

Lately, my Father has been reminding me of how terribly fond of me He is. How His Love is unstoppable, unchangeable, overflowing, neverending...and lots more DC*B songs, haha.

And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, ²⁰ giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, ²¹ submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.~~Ephesians 5

Wow...thank you, Lord, for even more encouragement/confirmation to keep sharing Your Word - it's just the intended, natural overflow from a Spirit-filled life! =D

Recording my testimony went well - there are some pretty awesome people at McDonough Christian Church, woohoo! Of course, it's slightly varied from the massive amount of thoughts/notes that I had pulled together, but I think that's inevitable when "the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say" (Luke 12:12).
But something that God so sweetly revealed to me on the drive down there - for years, I was walking around just carrying the shield of Faith by itself...only playing defense. It's really over the past year that He has taught me how to wield the sword of the Spirit, how to play offense (take dominion) in addition to defense. Especially when you go through a season of jumping from doctor to doctor and hear all of their diagnoses - you have to know where God's diagnosis comes in and combats their opinions.
I am so grateful that we've been led to wise doctors with helpful intentions, but we still have to take what the world is saying and contrast it to what God has already said. I know that's why at 15 years old I knew meds were not the answer, but now at 20, (at least for this season) I'm getting to experience God work through medicine, as well. If nothing else, I know He's using me every single month I visit that office to simply smile at some weary people...Lord, please let it be You that they see; remind them of how much higher Your thoughts & ways are than our own.
(Also, why in the world am I still talking about my health so much? praise God, time to let my words be few..)

Let hope rise
And darkness tremble
In Your Holy Light
That every eye will see
Jesus our God
Great and mighty to be praised

Thank you Father, for having purposes that are so much bigger than me, plans that affect the lives of more people than I could ever realize...ah! thank You for keeping me in a state of continual amazement - You are worthy to be praised!

Transparency

So, I have the privilege of sharing part of my testimony on Good Friday this year. (ohh, how He shoves us!) I'm loving how it's when I'm doing something with Refuge that God wants me to get OUT of my comfort zone and share His truth/love like that. I'm so thankful to be part of a group of people that know the right times to encourage and prod...I just love how the Holy Spirit works like that. =] Being transparent and being specific are apparently two traits that I still need to practice...because I keep receiving opportunities to be active in sharing my faith! woohoo! I tend to brush off what I've actually gone through and jump straight to all of the amazing truths that God has written on my heart...they are profound and wonderful realities, but I can't deny the fact that God is glorified in and from my weaknesses. (and there are PLENTY of them! hallelujah!)

Since I have to go and record this testimony later today and I need to gather my thoughts for it, I figured I may as well share right here what's going on...I have no clue who will be seeing the finished product, so why not share the process here? Right? Awesome.

1) Who are you? Please tell me your name and give me a little background of your life.

I'm Emily Seibert, and I'm here 1) by the grace of God, and 2) with Refuge Dance Company. Over this past year in particular, my natural family, spiritual family and Refuge family have all been significant sources of accountability, encouragement, and prayer covering, as I've faced some health struggles.

2) What is your story? Please tell me about what you experienced/are experiencing in your life.

Well, I've been dancing since I was 9 years old, and dance for me, has always been a point of physical fitness, building relationships, and worshiping my Savior. When I was 15 (fall 2005, nearly 16) years old, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). The year prior, I had faced (what we thought was) a stomach virus that caused me to lose a lot of strength and drop below 100 pounds. Closer towards the time of diagnosis, I was experiencing a lack of muscle control and stability on the left side of my body. At that point, we decided that drugs were not the way to go, I was prayed over, I altered my diet and began seeing a chiropractor. By the spring of 2006 I was no longer experiencing any MS issues.

Last April (2009), after nearly four years without issues, I began to experience the similar lack of muscle control and dexterity, in additon to some double vision. This entire relapse escalated and fluctuated from April - October, and my body is still working its way back to 100%. Now at 19/20 years old, I'm taking this more seriously and questioning why God would be bringing this up again?

3) How is God’s healing power at work in your life? Please tell me how God has restored/is restoring your life. If you haven’t yet experience healing, please tell me about how you are waiting on the Lord.

Last July, after the worst portion of the relapse, I did receive healing for the MS. (GLORY to God!) It was during a Wednesday night worship service, my pastor called me up, and I received this amazing, anointed prophetic word. But even before I received that word, God had already told me that I was "healed," but I was also reminded that "every word of God is tested; He is a shield to those who take refuge in Him." (prov. 30:5) I already knew that God was at work, but I had to keep reading His Word and reminding myself that His word accomplishes what He says it will.

4) What can we learn from your experience? Please tell me about how God is using your experience for good. For someone who is viewing your testimony and experiencing the same thing, what do you want them to know?

I was actually listening to a sermon last week, that said that God uses our trials/pains as megaphones for HIS hope & faithfulness. It's an opportunity to trust that no matter what He allows to come our way, God is working everything together for good. If I could leave you with anything, it's the reminder that God is right beside you...and I believe this quote from Ravi Zachiarias hits it right on the head: "We may change, but His Word does not change because it is true for every stage of life, in every circumstance. It keeps us in in touch with the new. It keeps us real in our expectations, promising not a trouble-free trip but God's presence in every trial."

hm, that wasn't so bad. =) Father, glorify Your Name!

Unfinished

Don't you love it when conviction just washes over you?
Pretty sure I was supposed to give up Facebook for the duration of Lent. But I didn't. Now, as I'm praying through different things and desiring clarity...I realize how much easier it could have been if I had responded sooner to what I know God asked me to do. (Maybe not easier, but I would have had fewer distractions vying for my attention, and more time to commit to the Father.) Oh Lord, would You continue to take my every thought captive to Your perfect will...


Looking at my blog, I have three different posts that I started earlier this year, but never finished...I think I was waiting for the right words to wrap it up with a profound thought. (haha! Talk to me sometime - how profound do I think I am?!) More posts will be popping up, because God keeps revealing too much for me to keep it to myself ---> and it doesn't all fit within my facebook rectangle! I also began to question why the majority of my 'status updates' are Bible verses, and whether or not my 'friends' are encouraged or irritated by all of it.
...but I'm being honest! God is so gracious to have massively increased my desire for His Word (His truth! His promises! His love! His LIFE!!!) every. single. day. When I share a verse, it's just a snapshot of something that jumped out to me that morning. Somedays it's a hug, other days it's a knife that removes something of myself that shouldn't be there. ah! Another reason to appreciate blogging: italics. I can't italicize in a status update!

So, praise the Lord for being imperfect, unfinished jars of clay. =) I'm currently reading through the New Testament with two ladies right now; in 2 Corinthians with one and Mark with the other...love love love it. It never ceases to amaze me how the Word doesn't get old! 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 has been on my bedroom wall for years, but it was verse 15 that really echoed in my spirit today...
"For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God."

All that I've tasted lately is His abundant grace and mercy, by the Blood of Jesus...God, may the thanksgiving abound, all for the fame of Your Name!

and oh snap! Yesterday was 2 Corinthians 3...so very rich.
verses 4-5: "Such is the confidence that we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming for us, but our sufficiency is from God."
(wow) Would you let it just sink in that we really can do all things through Christ? In case you haven't heard - I am somewhat of an acronym fiend...love it, wouldn't trade it, praise God! But now I'm learning that it's a gift from God, how He'll give me one word and just escalate from there. So I'm sitting there pondering self-sufficiency and realize that it comes from

Surrendering
Everything (to the)
Lord
Forever.

(isn't God so cool?!) Simple words, daily/life-long process.
Hope your week is off to a fantastic start...and if it's not, just go to sleep. =) You'll wake up to new mercies, made especially for that day.

Pancakes

Luke 5:23-25 (English Standard Version)

²³Which is easier, to say, 'Your sins are forgiven you,' or to say, 'Rise and walk'? ²⁴But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins"—he said to the man who was paralyzed—"I say to you, rise, pick up your bed and go home." ²⁵And immediately he rose up before them and picked up what he had been lying on and went home, glorifying God.

Something I've realized that I really kind of loathe about myself, is my tendency to freak out/over-analyze/unnecessarily stress out over such minor things. No surprise that when I prayed with Dottie on Saturday night, that she really felt God telling me, "Don't sweat the small stuff." Is it any surprise that God would then use small things to prove how BIG He is? I'm running into lots of different things that God is doing so that I may know...and it's incredibly humbling.

For instance, some homework that I needed to submit online last Thursday - did not submit = no bueno. I was frustrated, e-mailed the professor who essentially said 'sorry, that sucks to be you,' and I resigned myself to receiving no credit for that work.
HOWEVER, it just so happened that the entire class was given another chance to submit that assignment! (Seriously, God?! It was one homework assignment...I had finally gotten to the point where I could swallow my pride, repent and move on - yet, Your grace floods in).


As I sit here and think
About all that You’ve done
About how You gave me Your one and only Son
And I’m trying to fathom
All that You are, but so far, Lord
You’re so beyond me...
~All I Need (Shawn McDonald)

Next, my internship! Since last fall, I've been debating whether or not I even wanted to pursue an internship...would the effort really be worth it, or is it just something else to put on a resume? It turns out that Proverbs 16:3 is no joke, and God will give you more than you ever expected. (Hence, why I found myself having to choose between 2 internships.) Well, after several e-mails, an interview, another meeting, praying and waiting for 3 weeks (which doesn't sound long, but lemme tell ya...) - I get to intern with the Atlanta Beat for at least 10 weeks this spring! (possibly longer, but we shall see) Seriously?! This was my first choice..really wanted it, didn't expect to get it, and was ready to settle (but be joyful!) for whatever God had for me. ohhh, God's timing...=)


But what finally brought me to my knees in tears is kind of ridiculous...really ridiculous, but funny & amazing and so my Savior. I was on my way home on Monday evening after the second Atl Beat meeting, stopped to get some coffee, then mom texts me asking if I'll be home for dinner. I responded with a "yesh," then kept driving; mom sent another text while I was driving, but I didn't look at it.
I pull into the driveway, feeling quite content and look at my coffee cup thinking, 'Man, I'm in the mood for breakfast...some pancakes would so match my coffee...oh well.' Then I pick up my phone before going inside, to read mom's text which says:

"Dinner is ready! Blueberry pancakes!"

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!!?

The Creator of the universe, also took the time to make me pancakes for dinner. But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins - I'm making you PANCAKES for dinner. ahhhh, Lord, You are amazing.
I would plead with you - whatever you're holding on to or whatever you're waiting to see happen - just let it go. Let God. Once your plans are surrendered to Him...He is able to do far abundantly beyond anything you could ask or imagine. =) even something as silly as pancakes. He is able.

A time to TRUST

I don't know if this is true for you, but when God really wants to get a point across to me, I keep finding the same thing brought up in all these different places...it's amazing to me, how God is sure to reach us wherever we're at!

Found myself in Acts 10:20 the other morning:
"Rise and go down and accompany them without hesitation, for I have sent them."

hm. It's definitely the "without hesitation" part that consistently catches me up, holds me back..
"Emily, do you trust Me?"
"Yes Lord..."
"Then give up! My Presence shall go forth and lead you in peace."

Newsflash: the only thing I have to lose by following the Father is my own pride/agenda/timing.
A Facebook friend had this status to share:

"TRUST in Hebrew means to lie prone, or prostrate--completely helpless. Am I really trusting my Father, or am I trusting in the strength of man or myself. Praise God right where you are, and trust in His Sovereignty. He loves us!"

ah! Just praise Him! Something I did not hesitate about, was buying my plane tickets for Project Dance NY in April! (woot!) It felt kind of weird to have such peace about acting rather spontaneously, but then I read an excerpt from "Jesus Lives" and received some confirmation...=)

"Though you feel safest when your life is predictable and things seem under control, I want you to break free and discover the adventures I have planned for you. The greatest adventure of all is knowing Me abundantly: discovering how wide and long and high and deep is My Love for you...when unexpected events shake up your routines, rejoice! This is exactly what you need to wake you up and point you toward Me. Recognize that you are on the threshold of a new adventure, and that I will be with you each step of the way. As we venture out together, cling tightly to My hand. The more you abandon yourself to Me, the more exuberantly you can experience My Love."

Sweet Lord, and it wasn't until after reading all of it, that I noticed the title for that section. And it was, of course: TRUST.
(think I get it yet??) I'm feeling blessedly overwhelmed by all of this...He really does care much more for us than we can imagine...

My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.
~Ephesians 3:14-19, The Message

New year. Same God. Hallelujah!

(morning of New Year's Eve)
God is so very sweet, and I'm so very expectant for all that He has in store for 2010. Ready to move forward...to abide in Him and be active in pursuing all that He has...

"I Am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." ~ John 15:5

"I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ." ~Philemon 1:6

Praise the Lord! Father, would You let these words You've given me increase for Your Glory...ha, "AA" - my battery for 2010. love it. =)
Okay, and I have to lay on some Psalms,,,all of these were in "Jesus Calling" at some point this week, and I've seen the reality of every single one at some point in 2009...

Psalm 40:3
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.

Psalm 56:3-4
But when I am afraid,
I will put my trust in You.
I praise God for what He has promised.
I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
What can mere mortals do to me?

Psalm 62:8
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to Him,
for God is our refuge.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
=)
It was a different sort of New Year's Eve...nothing terribly epic, most of my siblings somewhere else...but I realized how I'm so thankful to have entered the new year with such peace and quiet. And Seinfeld. (haha! I love my dad) Seriously though, it is such a welcome twist after 2009...I sat there watching the peach drop with my mom tonight, ready to cry, only thinking "wow, God...wow - You did it (again)." There were numerous times in 2009 that I was just weary from carrying burdens that I wasn't meant to bear. But God is faithful. FAITHFUL.


Morning by morning I wake up to find
The power and comfort of God's hand in mine
Season by season I watch Him, amazed
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He's always been faithful to me.

I can't remember a trial or a pain
He did not recycle to bring me gain
I can't remember one single regret
In serving God only, and trusting His hand
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He's always been faithful to me.

This is my anthem, this is my song
The theme of the stories I've heard for so long
God has been faithful, He will be again
His loving compassion, it knows no end
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He's always been faithful, He's always been faithful
He's always been faithful to me.

=) thanks be to God, for His indescribable gift!!
Happy New Year.