Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Feel the Burn

We started our summer office workout series today, woohoo! I am loving our bi-hourly crunches and arm toning...it makes the day go by faster to think of it in half-hour increments. There's something about group exercising that motivates me more than solo workouts; I don't know if it's the competition or the comraderie, but it's nice to know that someone else is feeling the burn right there with you. Some are breathing through the pain, others are whining through it, as our boss gently yet firmly leads us through five minutes of killing calories.

But what is it about "the burn" that's so motivating? To me, a burn means that I'll end up with results, with progress; with so much effort going into it, I know that it's going to be worth it on the other side. And how God that this is parallel to my life! I don't believe you have to go through pain for everyyything in life, but I know that there are times when God places trials in my life to increase my faith and trust in Him...and if I didn't suck it up and go through those times, I certainly wouldn't be where He has me now. I can breathe through it, or whine through it, yet He'll be gently coaching me along the way - if I am willing to listen to His calming voice. There's that verse where a hundred years is but a second to God, and a second is a hundred years..those five minutes seem to go on for a while, and each thirty minutes seems to pass by quicker than the previous. But the sooner we go through it, it's like, "okay God, we persevered through that - what do You have for us next?" I love equating my physical strength with my spiritual, because they are surprisingly equal; my progress in one area motivates me to tone the other one.

By the end of the day, the whining had ceased considerably, either from exhaustion or the hope of soon being done altogether. But it definitely opened my eyes to how I'll complain my way through trials, instead of praise my way through...I may reach the same destination as the person next to me, but my ride will be a whole lot smoother if I take the focus off of my own issues. God always always always has something bigger at hand than I realize...

Monday, May 25, 2009

Facebook Fast

No, that doesn't mean click as quickly as you can to Facebook...only four days away, and I am already realizing what a disgusting amount of time I spend there. (I can't lie, it's taking an incredible amount of self-control to stay away) and I must admit, I feel rather disjointed by taking a break from my online community...but why? Since when did looking at someone's picture, reading what they're doing for the afternoon, and typing out a seven word response mean we were best friends? If you haven't yet, I highly recommend that you invest some time into reading C.S. Lewis' "The Four Loves." It will cause you to redefine 'friendship' in your own life, and realize the difference between friends, companions, acquaintances, etc...makes me want to strengthen some friendships, and end others...it's simultaneously convicting and encouraging.

I'm excited to start blogging again, I miss the Xanga days ((still have mine actually, there's some pretty funny stuff on there)). I've kept consistent journals since I was 12 years old..and lately I've really felt a pull to share what God has been showing me. I know that some day the record of my random, fourteen-year-old thoughts will serve a purpose, either in a book or simply for my own daughter to read one day. But as I grow up, I'm able to more effectively articulate and share what exactly God has going on in my life...especially now that I realize whatever happens to me affects more people than I realize. Honestly, I'm entering into a season of life that has several different focuses...

1) I'm learning ((again)) what it means to fully rely on my Savior---He is EVERYTHING. Nothinggg this world or other people have to offer will ever satisfy me; yet when I make a mistake, God is gracious enough to let me learn and (hopefully) not repeat the same mistake again.

2) I'm done ignoring things I know God has laid on my heart to do. For instance, the last few times I've fasted, I have refused to give up Facebook...ha, it's finally time. ((might have been easier if I listened the first time, but there are several reasons I'm happy to be fasting now)) Also, this blog; I know that there are things the Holy Spirit reveals to me that I'm supposed to share with more people than myself...and this is definitely a small way to start, but it's just that - a start!

3) The poetic title of this blogishness, Undiluted Grace (it's true, it took me a while to come up with something so pretty sounding) But it is so. much. more. His Grace is the reason we're alive - "the free and unmerited favor of God." I am where I am by no plans or purposes of my own, I simply chose (and choose every day) Jesus. It's not only undiluted grace, it's undeserved...I am pond scum, and yet He still chooses to use me as a vessel for His purposes. Unfathomable.

So much has been changed in my life in the past three weeks...relationally, physically, academically, spiritually...lots of tears, laughter, and hard work along the way, but I wouldn't trade it. I'm learning that what others may see as a mistake, is not always true...I've personally realized that God DOES answer prayers, and will give exactly what you ask Him for. However, what I'm asking for...doesn't always turn out to be what I truly want. But the cool part (no matter what happens!!), is that God can use anything, and work it all together for our good...if I will only get over myself and surrender my petty issues to Him.

Wow, this turned out way longer than I expected it to...but this is my current status, and there's no way I could have fit all of it into that rectangle provided by our friends at Facebook.