Christmastime

ever have those times where you sit down with God, pour everything out (good & bad), then finally shut up (BE STILL) long enough to listen to what HE says about you?

that happened tonight. in the quiet of my bedroom.
Merry Christmas - He's the God of your days.

God of My Days
Gateway Worship

You awaken my heart
From slumbering
Meet me in mourning
And you speak to my grief

You're the light in my darkness
The delight of my eyes
The hope of the daybreak
When the sun's slow to rise

(Chorus)
I trust that every moment's in your hands
You're the God of my days
The King of my nights
Lord of my laughter
Sovereign in sorrow
You're the Prince of my praise
The love of my life
You never leave me
You are faithful
God of my days

You unveil my eyes
Help me to see
The arms of my Father
Encircling me
You're a constant companion
I am never alone
Your love is the banner
That's leading me home

(Chorus)

My eyes are on You
My hope is in You
My faith is in You
My eyes are on You
My hope is in You
My faith is in You

Geez...when you're trying to sort through so many actual & hypothetical situations running through your head, I'd encourage you to just start preaching to your soul.
Then, put your iTunes on shuffle and believe that He's going to speak to you through whatever songs pop up. (haha, but really!) At the end of about a 1 1/2 hours, I felt completely drained. but refreshed/restored/renewed. (HOW does God simultaneously kick your butt yet hold you in His arms??? ahh, He is faithful to discipline those He loves!)

My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline,
and do not resent his rebuke,
because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in. ~Proverbs 3:11-12

I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me. ~Revelation 3:18-20

Glory. Must be doing something right if the Father finds it worth it to correct and pour into me. =)
And yes - had another absolutely blessed Christmas, surrounded by my parents, siblings, niece & nephews...have to agree with Nick: "Man, if you had people around us that just heard us talking and didn't know what movies and tv shows we'd seen?...They'd have us committed." (hahaha!)

Looking forward to this final week of 2010, free of school & work (work that I get paid for, at least), ready to wake up in the morning without the assistance of an alarm clock. As I was journaling this evening, it finally occurred to me how fruitless it is to try and guess what God is going to do in 2011. (seriously?! too much caffeine.)

not anxious, just expectant for what the Father has in store. (and I cannot imagine a better place to start it than Passion 2011! So very stoked to go with Sam-a-lam & Joesha.)

More to come, I have lots of reading to do this week; glory to God!
but for now, going to rest my head on some Hallelujahs.

Advent story

As promised. (or stated, rather.)

*as found in my journal on Thursday, December 2, 2010...home between classes & before work*

"encouraged. (ha! I think I found my blog post...)
Thinkin' there's something more to this whole 'advent' emails fiasco...even before church (PCC) on Sunday, I knew I wanted to embrace Christmas differently this year, with a fresh (undivided, reverent, worshipful) heart. Then, I find out we'll receive specific, advent emails to add to my quiet times?! perfect. Even added mom and dad to the email list because I was sooo excited & ready to UP our expectations. Then yesterday morning, dad received his email, but I hadn't seen mine? =/ (a little miffed, but fairly convinced it would come later.) Thennn, Jayme had hers, so I asked (with a pouty, selfish attitude) her to forward it to me. She did, and it was/IS a good word. I was still confused, so I re-added 2 of my email addresses to the PCC sign-up. This morning? Kept hitting snooze & still had no email. Then I had a random thought at school - hadn't Jayme and I just been talking about not having spam folders for work email? hm, but doesn't my Gmail have a spam filter? Why yes, yes it does. Lo & behold, December 1st & 2nd Advent emails to be moved from spam directly to my inbox. (Satan does NOT get this victory.) my heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast."

What reeeally hit me through this 3-day lesson...when I didn't receive what I was expecting when & where I expected it - it was such a struggle to keep my attitude in check. My expectant hopefulness had all too quickly shifted into selfish complacency. ohhhh, how this should NOT be!!
But you know what the prayer was in that December 2nd Advent email? it was me.

--> "Father You came to us and found us when we were lost and unable to find You. As we continue our Advent journey strengthen our hearts so that we may persevere as we hear Your righteous judgment spoken against Your wayward and rebellious children. We are all those who sin and we have no hope apart from You. Jesus, thank you for Your willing sacrifice and the gift of righteousness which only comes from You. Amen."

3rd time's the charm

pahahaha, "Speaking of families, I read an article the other day about citrus fruit and its effect on children's teeth..."
:-) Saturday night after church has turned into Christmas movie nights this year...first we had "The Santa Clause" (the 1st one w/Tim Allen, because the next 2 were useless), then "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" (animated, thank you very much), and tonight - "White Christmas."

"We like to take of our friends."
"But we're practically strangers!"
"We'd like to take care of that, too."
classic.

(the movie is also allowing me to multi-task right now...in case you couldn't tell.)

Anyyyywho. Third time's the charm because I already started 2 other posts in the past month that never had enough substance to be worth posting...
*exhibit A:
11/19/10
Title: Long month?
Body: Look at that...5 days until Thanksgiving, 2 1/2 weeks until my birthday,

*exhibit B:
12/1/10
Title: November danced away...
Body: I had started to post once in November....I made it through one sentence before I was pulled away. (probably fell asleep.)
I don't think I lost November, per se, it just kept on chugging along.


haha, and now? I'm 21 yrs + 3 days old, 4 days away from the end of my first quarter at Life U, 2 weeks away from Christmas, 20 days shy of Passion 2011, and more in love with Jesus than ever before. =)
Something really sinking in my spirit during this season is the concept of Advent - expectantly waiting during this Christmas season for God to do something miraculous. (I have a story, but it will be a separate post to spare confusion and give me a study break at some point tomorrow.)

One of the songs I'm currently stuck on: You Have Me - Gungor (ALSO, Beautiful Things, The Earth is Yours...basically their entire Beautiful Things album. :-)

Out on the farthest edge
There in the silence
You were there

My faith was torn to shreds
Heart in the balance
And You were there

Always faithful, always good
You still have me
You still have my heart

I thought I had seen the end
Everything broken
But You were there

I've wandered at heaven's gates
I've made my bed in hell
You were there still

Always faithful, always good
You still have me
You still have my heart

You have me, You have me
You have my heart completely
You have me, You have me
You have my heart completely

Currently chewing: Psalm 42 & Isaiah 26


Much love to all - I'll have something more to share once finals are over. glory to God. :-)