It seems like this happened the last time I struggled to (find time) pull a post together...2 were started with clever titles, but never completed...
~January 25, 2011: "11 months 'til Christmas!"
----Going back through my journal entry from this day, looks like I had (and still do have!!) plenty of songs running through my head/sitting in my spirit from Passion 2011. *see Mountains Move & Beautiful Things.* Had just completed my first "real" week of school after our blessedly wonderful ice storm & was working to get my groove back...
*Proverbs 25:4~
Take away the dross from the silver,
and the smith has material for a vessel.
~February 8, 2011: ""studying""
----haha, I do have another journal entry from this day as well, but I mostly remember joking that I would finally 'commemorate' my 21st birthday 2 months late. (please. do you know me?? better believe I spent that night cramming for my chem test the next day.)
....oh snap. Just realized this was only one week ago?? ahahaaha, wow. I should be sleeping right now.
Beginning to realize in all of my asking for wisdom (James 1:5), that OF COURSE God gives wisdom generously...wisdom is constantly calling out & inviting me!
*Proverbs 8:5~
O simple ones, learn prudence;
O fools, learn sense.
Repeatedly humbled, repeatedly broken when I realize how natural (and sinful) it is for me to assess each day in my own strength & time parameters & expectations...Google Calendar should only do so much. Also, I felt rather lazy & not incredibly productive last week. (plenty of petty reasons, but I know it all boils down to not getting to bed on time & choosing to let that dictate my actions & responses....pleasant demeanor = the grace & mercy of Jesus!)
~February 14, 2011: "Happy 2011. (forreal this time)"
----it IS a happy 2011! =D Kind of nuts if I stop to realize that we're officially half-way through February now...but O, what the Lord has done in just the past month and a half! I pray that I'm not the same, but being made more like Him, more into a vessel He can use.
(yes, you need to click on "vessel")
Been reminded from the Word and confirmed through others, that I am constantly in the palm of His hand. (and so are you!) It's such a sweet place of rest, security and satisfaction --- and according to Jeremiah, this is the same place where I'm repeatedly crushed, re-formed, re-shaped, renewed, adjusted...yet I know the One who's doing it & that's how I'm able to rest.
After what felt like an out-of-whack week & an exhausting (but so wonderful!!) weekend full of dancing, I finally took a moment (which turned into an hour) to just sit on my bed, pour out my heart, and listen to His voice. (please try it - best Valentine's Day gift I've ever received...though daddy's chocolate covered fortune cookies run a close second.)
What I am prone to forget, is that "all things new" can happen every. single. second. His mercies don't run out, His Love never stops and I can't exhaust His patience through all of my finite struggles. I constantly wrestle with knowing that I'm human yet striving to be Holy as He is.
*1 Peter 3:13-16
Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”
I know that life is cyclical and I know that I'm at a higher level...but I get so tired of arguing with myself over the same issues & behavior patterns...surely someday I'll truly walk this life like I believe all of His promises.
But then, He so gently reminded me how He sees my heart's desires and motive, and struggle to pursue diligence - which is apparently happening whether I can believe it or not. glory!
Thankful for the reminder that I shouldn't have everything at once..
*Proverbs 13:11-13
Wealth gained hastily will dwindle,
but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
Whoever despises the Word brings destruction on himself,
but he who reveres the commandment will be rewarded.
little by little...thank you Father, for building habits and creating patterns in Your perfect timing - that the seed I'm sowing would not be choked out, but be repeatedly weeded, watered and fertilized within Your Presence. Thank you for loving me, for choosing me, for giving me the choice every single day to die to my flesh, that I may pick up my cross and follow You.
=]
let's go.
Happy New Year!
