He will not always accuse,

nor will He harbor His anger forever;

He does not treat us as our sins deserve

or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is His love for those who fear Him;

as far as the east is from the west,

so far has He removed our transgressions from us.

~Psalm 103:9-12

He is enough.

Philippians 1 ~ ²³I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; ²⁴but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.

And why is it necessary?? For His Name's sake. That's purpose! He's enough!

I need to stop worrying about tomorrow. Especially the tomorrows that are a good five months or five years away. I'm so thankful for friends who remind of Truth that I already know, that I've already preached to others...Father, thank you for being so graciously patient with me, for giving me the grace to take You at Your Word and believe that Your perfect timing will come to pass...
ha, and I want to stop being so surprised when I see God's promises fulfilled in my life.

Mark 11:24~"Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours."

I do believe that I have received it...yet I'm still blown away when I actually receive it! Am I walking in doubt, or a continual state of awe? I don't know. *random - I'm so thankful for Hillsong & Shane and Shane music this week..it just helps to usher in the peace of God.*
All day long, I know that the Holy Spirit has just been whispering and reminding me of what God has already decreed over me for 2010..."Emily, we do collide! You can be active when you continue to abide in Me, because I Am already in you. Rest, my daughter, rest in Me alone...one day, one step at a time is what I have called you for. Trust that you are familiar with My hand and I will lead you forth in peace...you can hear Me, now won't you listen to Me?"

ahhh, I love Him. Lately, I'm learning that I get so engulfed by looking in the sky, because it's only echoing/reflecting the Glory and Love that I read of in His Word. He is more than enough, all I need, my complete satisfaction! And I know that's another reason why I hesitate before excitement, when God answers a prayer...I desperately desire to be sure that I'm only giving Him glory and praise - not making an idol out of what He has just blessed me with. Especially in terms of new friendships, is God simply a piece of a picture, like the icing on a cake? Or is HE the very reason, purpose and breath for every move we make? (haha, those two analogies don't correlate quite as poetically as I hoped, but I think you get it) But this is what I'm currently wrestling with and working out in my own life....is God receiving His Glory? Is the smile on my face causing you to turn around and look at the One that has my undivided attention?

"The joy of the Lord is your strength." Where do the saints get their joy from? If we did not know some saints, we would say - "Oh, he, or she, has nothing to bear." Lift the veil. The fact that the peace and the light and the joy of God are there is proof that the burden is there too. The burden God places squeezes the grapes and out comes the wine; most of us see the wine only. No power on earth or in hell can conquer the Spirit of God in a human spirit, it is an inner unconquerableness.
If you have the whine in you, kick it out ruthlessly. It is a positive crime to be weak in God's strength. " --Oswald Chambers from I don't remember what day in My Utmost for His Highest

And, the latest little-sister-insight...

*Luke 9:62~Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."
"It doesn't matter what we want. What matters is what God wants. So if He wants us to walk away from everything and follow Him, we need to be ready to do that."*

Yes and amen to the chance to move forward into the new things God is doing---whatever it takes, wherever He leads...His will, not mine.

Blown by the wind, but not flighty

Ok, something I'm recently realizing (well, perhaps not realizing, but accepting and enjoying)...you see, when the Spirit of the Lord moves upon my heart, I will dance like David danced!
Like last Thursday at church service, I tried staying in the pews during the 15 minutes of praise & worship (I really did, and looking back, I was being super prideful)...but I just couldn't!! (haha, do we love how quick the Holy Spirit is?!) Reminded me of Like a Lion - "let love EXPLODE and bring the dead to life!" I didn't go up front at the beginning of worship, because I was thinking 'ah, I always do that, I can be 'normal' for 15 minutes and stay in the pews, it'll be fine...'
um, by no means!!
I literally felt like I was going to internally combust if I didn't start moving...ahh, it was SO COOL! Praise God that I finally jogged up front - He is so worth it. It's not about how I feel or even what I think may be appropriate or acceptable - it's about what God is worthy of. (spoiler: He's worth more than my comfort zone).
It's such a liberating feeling to finally surrender and let God decide when I move - not just dancing, but with anything...but dancing is the best analogy I have!

Refuge finished a piece on Saturday - Persevering Joy? Joyous Perseverance? - I love it. It's such a literal picture of how the Holy Spirit moves and how we respond. I love that it's a duet, just a moment alone with God. Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing half of the time, but there are a few moments where Madeleine (the Holy Spirit) grabs my hand, leads me where I need to be, and I remember what comes next. So clearly reminds me of the need to know what the hand of the Holy Spirit feels like...I may not know the destination, but I know the driver, and I know He won't lead me into something detrimental. And the way the dance flows, looks like wind is just blowing across the stage, prompting our movements...did I mention that I love it?! I'll say it again - I love it. It's the kind of wind that brings refreshment, joy, motivation - encourages you to keep going (persevering!).

Another reason to love this piece, it's a picture of one of my favorite chapters, James 1~

"Consider it pure JOY, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." v2-4

Such a necessary realization for me - the beginning of perseverance isn't the thought to plunge into something in my own strength, thinking I have everything under control, and can celebrate at the end of it all. Shift my perspective - the joy has to come first.

"And you became imitators of us and of the Lord, for you received the word in much affliction, with the JOY of the Holy Spirit..." - 1 Thess. 1:6

If I haven't made the decision (every single morning!) to count it alllll joy, then I've missed it. Who am I imitating? ahhh, praise the Lord for His conviction that just sticks with us...so grateful for it, especially when I'm running out of energy. Today, I really just felt surrounded by all of my tasks, all the things calling for my attention/time/focus...and it's not bad things, it's all legitimate projects that I'm sincerely excited about. But, because I'm excited about it and like all of the other people that I'm working with/will be affected by these various tasks....I add unnecessary stress onto myself, thinking that I need to be perfect. (definitely had several moments where I was working for man, and not for the Lord. no bueno.)

I really do want the necessary affliction (to share in His sufferings), but I also have to receive His comfort...not wallow in my "omg, LOOK at my to-do list!" Does this make sense? I feel quite ramblingish tonight...and I'm so going to click "PUBLISH POST" anyway, haha.
bless God, amen.

ok. must stop. =)
more thoughts for a later blog....

Still unpacking...

Finally sitting down to share all of this...I kept putting it off, because I knew it would be one of those times where I sit down and don't move for another 2 hours. (plus, I wanted some peace and quiet for it...hehe, not easy to find unless it's 5am!) Also, I'm still rather sleepy. =/ I'm pretty sure three days in a row of 6am-1am counts as jet lag...right?

Ok. Epic moments of the weekend. GO!

Songs.
Overall favorite part of the weekend---I had songs running through my head the whole time :) Amazing. And what a gift! Had the revelation that it's a way God uses to take my every thought captive, and it ties into something Louie said a few weeks ago at church - you may not remember that profound statement you heard during the sermon, but when you need it, God can allow His melody to float through your head.

It started on the airplane with Shane & Shane's Everything is Different...haha, of course, because I'm sitting there talking to God thinking, 'wow, Lord, I'm excited but this year feels completely different..' (Well, praise GOD! why in the world would I want to be in the same place I was a year ago?)

You made a way when there was no way
You covered heaviness with garments of praise
You wrote a song and You're singing it over me
I feel a dead heart beating now
This revelation makes me wanna shout
That Jesus has been sent
And everything is different

What an awesome expectation to begin the weekend with; no clue (well, some clue) what's coming, but absolute confidence that it's going to be incredible. The majority of the other songs came after Friday Night Live, both from the companies that performed, and worship afterwards.
(ps--THE most Spirit-led evening of worship that I've ever witnessed at a Project Dance event...what a blessing, it felt like my church + lots more dancing!) ah, I wanted to take a picture at some point, but there wasn't much point in trying to capture moments that you really had to be there for...

Exceedingly
Abundantly
More than enough for me
...........................................
The veil was torn
You made a way
When You said that is is done
..................................
Spontaneous worship. I love it. Shouldn't our lives always be an example of spontaneous worship? Perhaps then it would be more habitual...
Also, I should have warned you that I'm still processing through everything that God did/is doing/will do...hence, why some of this may not compute. =) my apologies.

Friends.
See, Project Dance events are so much more than opportunity to simply network. The dance world is already small, so the Christian dance world is miniscule. So once you've attended several of these events, you begin to recognize people, forget their names, and re-introduce yourself every time you see them. =) (gotta love it) I'm grateful for the moments that we have to catch up, connect, and encourage one another with the progress in our own lives.
Added bonus --> the friends that came to see me, that were not even a part of the event! I'm so blown away by the selflessness of some people I know...I happen to be near them for a few hours, so they completely rearrange their schedules to make time to come see me?! ah, I'm so humbled...and also awakened to my own laziness, when I can't 'make time' for coffee with a friend that lives only 15 minutes away from me? geez, cannot take my close-distance friends for granted. But yes, God is so gracious...whether it was a hug, an in-depth conversation, or even a text - my joy was made complete on lots of different levels. =]


Word.
Sunday morning's short churchish service was so refreshing and helped to seal up some things that had been floating around the past 2 days. Friday evening, there was some focus on how God had torn the veil for us, and all that was left was for us to step through. Skip to Saturday, and I'm thinking about dancing (jumping, leaping, turning, etc)...I'm in a good mood, just wishing that my body was physically able to do what I want it to. Back to Sunday morning, and Michelle Leaney is talking about God's timing, about pursuing what He's given us to do today. (which ties in w/my wonderful mother reminding me - pretty frequently - that His timing is always perfect and intentional) So at the end of the sermon, we're all sitting there just taking a moment to listen to what He's speaking over us:

"Emily, keep your arms up (in praise) as you are stepping forward. It's not a leap or a jump, it's a step. Keep moving forward, my daughter - I love you and hold your plans."

(also made the connection that my desire to leap & jump forward is not just physically literal, but I can become entirely too forward focused and want to fast forward my way through life--what a waste, when to live is CHRIST!)
Thennn - something I didn't connect until my plane ride home processing - Bekah and I were put on babysitting duty after the sermon, and I ended up playing "Mother, may I?" with a sweet, four year old little girl. hehe, so fun! Felt kind of silly/stupid/random, but I did it! And in God's grace, He revealed that that was a practical example, of my response when He asks me to take a step - sometimes it's 2 steps, sometimes it's 12 steps..I might have to walk like a monkey or waddle like a duck..but if I will pause, look up, and ask, Father, may I? that's it. =) can't miss it.


The plane ride home was so neat; the majority of this post is from all of that unpacking I did on the plane...worth it, b/c I couldn't have slept with all of this going through my head! And the ride was such a relief after 2 hours of subway & bus confusion! But it was sooo Amazing Race!! - the subway line we needed was shut down, we weren't sure what connected to where, then we met these 2 awesome ladies from Israel that helped us, once we got on the bus it kept stopping, finally made it to the airport and ran (literally), and in God's mercy, they had just begun boarding and we were at Gate 1.). haha, not something I desire to experience again too soon, but what a good story! :D

hm, don't normally read Psalms in the Message...I kinda like it!
"God made my life complete
when I placed all the pieces before him.
When I got my act together,
he gave me a fresh start.
Now I'm alert to God's ways;
I don't take God for granted.
Every day I review the ways he works;
I try not to miss a trick.
I feel put back together,
and I'm watching my step.
God rewrote the text of my life
when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes."
~Psalm 18:20-24

ah, if you made it all the way or partially through this, I hope that God gave you something to take away from it. Be joyful, prayerful, and thankful!! HE is worth it!

Verse on the mind...and in my face

2 John 1:12~
"Though I have much to write to you, I would rather not use paper and ink. Instead I hope to come to you and talk face to face, so that our joy may be complete."

Lots more unfinished sentences/thoughts to come...


~~~~~~~~~ok, the thoughts/sentences are slightly more finished than I thought, thanks to a verse that was (literally) in my face all morning:
"May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ." (2 Thessalonians 3:5)
I'm finding myself incredibly thankful for this mid-day mercy, this reminder that the ability to patiently endure can only be found in Christ...and whatever I'm patiently enduring for - if it's from God - then it's well worth waiting for.
I'm also grateful for how God chooses to convict us...I feel like I'm eating humility right now. ah, it's so painful but so fruitful to ask God to reveal my heart's selfish motives.
"expression of the love of God"
Is my desire to express God's love from a heart to serve, or am I using God as a step stool to serve myself? Thank God for His fresh grace, because I'm feeling incredibly unworthy at the moment.

Helpful insights I've read recently from Ravi Zacharias' The Grand Weaver:

"God has made it imperative in the design of life that we become willing to trust beyond ourselves. Walking by faith means to follow Someone else who knows more than we do, Someone who is also good."

annnnnnd

"A call may not necessarily feel attractive to you, but it will tug on your soul in an inescapable way, no matter how high the cost of following it may be. We more loosely refer to it as "God's call." Yes, it is his beckoning; but it is more. It is God's vital purpose in positioning you in life and giving you the vocation and context of your call to serve him with a total commitment to do the job well."

=)
happy Thursday, to you!

in the Light

Have you ever woken up in the morning with a song running through your head that you haven't heard in forever? (I mean, there's no reason for this tune to be there!)
Well, this morning I found myself humming,

I wanna be in the light
As You are in the light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heaven
Oh, Lord be my light
And be my Salvation
'Cause all I want is to be in the light
All I want is to be in the light...
-In the Light (DC Talk like what?!)

(I blamed the lack of sleep and central time zone, haha--"this only serves to confirm my suspicions, that I'm still in need of a Savior!")
Then, I looked out the window (ps, we were embarking on our 12hr drive home from Chicago) and notice this---->
:) so flipping cool...like a laser of sunshine piercing above/through the clouds. Then I opened my journal to keep processing through all of this and remember that the day before I had written down Ephesians 5:8-10~
"Walk as children of the light (for the fruit of the light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord."

'Wow God, that's neat..' THEN I decided to look up today's My Utmost for His Highest...
"The Holy Spirit cannot be located as a Guest in a house, He invades everything...He takes charge of everything, my part is to walk in the light and to obey all that He reveals."

I was just struck by how much that Oswald Chamber's insight matched up with what I could see out my window...there's the sword of light on top, but there's also light coming up from the bottom to permeate the rest of the sky. haha, granted I'm basing all of these connections off of one word, but what a powerful Word!

Matthew 5:14-16~"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."

hm, so sometimes it's meant to pierce, sometimes it's meant to permeate, sometimes it's both!
And I have to share the rest of the sunrise with you (the part that I caught, at least)...












(the laser eventually went away, but it was still amazing :)
Does it just put you in awe of our Creator? That He would choose to wake us up and share that with us? ahhh, I LOVE Him!!! Another bonus from the road trip, found that verse(s) that justifies why I've gotten so lost looking at the sky lately:
Psalm 8:1, 3-4



O Lord, our Lord,
how majestic is Your Name in all the
earth!
You have set Your Glory above the
heavens.
When I look at Your heavens, the work
of Your fingers,
the moon and the stars, which You
have set in place,
What is man that You are mindful of
him,
and the son of man that You care for
him?

=)
I hope you can take a moment (or several!) to dwell on His Majesty this week...

Blogging by Blackberry = talent!

:) Incredibly thankful for this time with my family. Hehe, there's just something so fun about going to a restaurant with a party of 15 people that all have the same last name.

Came across this during our car ride yesterday...I love when something I've read multiple times suddenly goes deeper and takes me with it. :)

~Psalm 23~
"The Lord is my Shepherd--that's relationship!
I shall not be in want--that's supply!
He makes me lie down in green pastures--that's rest!
He leads me beside quiet waters--that's refreshment!
He restores my soul--that's healing!
He guides me in the paths of righteousness--that's guidance!
For His Name's sake--that's purpose!
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death--that's testing!
I will fear no evil--that's protection!
For You are with me--that's faithfulness!
Your rod and the staff, they comfort me--that's discipline!
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies--that's hope!
You anoint my head with oil--that's consecration!
My cup overflows--that's abundance!
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life--that's blessing!
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord--that's security!
Forever--that's eternity!"

(The author is unknown, but I found it in Ravi Zacharias' "The Grand Weaver")

Sooo, dwell on that? :)
Hope you've had a wonderful day, and are expecting to have a wonderful tomorrow!
(And if you get a chance, please go stare at some clouds! I can't get enough of these massive, picturesque Illinois skies!!)

April showers bring...

ok, a few things!

April is looking like it will be an insanely busy and blessed month...I have my focus on ONE, but He has my energy going in about 45 different directions. :) [ps to K-Dog: thank you for the break today! Praying that your knee is being restored as I type..]
Not to boast or gloat, but just to give you all a glimpse of my full plate (hence, the reason why He causes our cups to overflow!!!)...what a typical week entails:

+My quiet time (the only thing in an intentional place; everything else is kind of random)
+Work
+Church
+Dance
+School (lastquarterlastquarterlastquarter! Then onto the next school...=)
+Internship (w/Atlanta Beat! Do you have your Season Seats yet?! Home Opener is May 9th! hahaha, I am waaaay too sympathetic to be a salesperson...it's kind of funny)
+Family & Friends (thankfully, lots of them are interspersed among the above activities..)
+Traveling (with/for family, friends, dancing, Jesus...pretty exciting!)

haha, I was looking at all of this a few weeks ago, just breathing and wondering how in the world all of this was going to balance out...and it's as if I could hear God chuckle and go, "ah, April showers..."
Right. More like an April monsoon. (Yet, I'm honestly not worried/stressed about all of this.) I know that God has been and IS faithful to order my steps, and He has ordained this season for a specific reason. So, I searched and realized that God has these kind of showers in mind:

And I will make them and the places all around my hill a blessing, and I will send down the showers in their season; they shall be showers of blessing. (Ezekiel 34:26)

Praise God - showers in their season. =) I can do this - through Christ alone! As I was updating my Google calendar earlier this week, I had the passing thought, 'wow - Father, please help me to seek YOU first through all of this.' Revelation - "Emily, you have been seeking Me first; that's why I've added all of these things to you..." (Matthew 6) wow. Not much else to say, but choose to keep on seeking!


Another encouragement given just yesterday, my Mom was at it again with Streams in the Desert:

"The very instant you wholeheartedly turn away from every symptom of discouragement and lack of trust, the blessed Holy Spirit will reawaken your faith and breathe God's divine strength into your soul. Initially you may be unaware that this is happening, but as you determine to uncompromisingly shun every attack of even the tendency toward doubt, and depression, you will quickly see the powers of darkness being turned back.

Oh, if only our eyes could see the mighty armies of strength and power that are always behind our turning away from the hosts of darkness toward God, there would be no attention given to the efforts of our cunning Foe to distress, depress, or discourage us! All the miraculous attributes of the Godhead are marshaled on the side of even the weakest believer who, in the name of Christ and in simple, childlike trust, yields himself to God and turns to Him for help and guidance."

So, it's not cocky to not feel anxious or worried - it's taking God at His Word! (what a concept...) I have to thank Gilberto for his insight - to be a radical Christian, all you have to do is simply believe that He IS the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

Now I'm lost in Your Freedom
Oh, this world I'll overcome...
My God's not dead!
He's surely alive!
And He's living on the inside
Roaring like a Lion!


Thank You, Lord...guard my heart and take my thoughts captive to Your Will.

GOOD Friday

I was planning on posting something earlier today...a sort of accumulation of things God has confirmed/put on my heart this week. Lots of His goodness...probably will still post it later :)

But, after this evening---I don't even know what to say.
I am feeling profoundly humbled. loved. undeserving. blessed (beyond measure). burdened (in a good way). free. awestruck. humbled (again). encouraged. set apart. satisfied. motivated. useful. fulfilled. redeemed. cleansed. humbled. ---> I really shouldn't be surprised that I was repeatedly brought to tears, considering I woke up asking God to break me today...ohhh, did He. hallelujah. (thanks, Beth Moore!)

....

Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me
Mortal tongue can never tell,
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well

I'm praying that you're brought to your knees this Easter...blown away and completely wrecked by the incredible love and healing power that our Father God has for you.
((ahh, God is AWESOME!))
The Good Friday service was incredible...an abundance of tears, praise, and thanksgiving.
All of it was a stunning reminder of all that He's promised, all that He's done, and all that He's going to do. (Jesus, I thank you) So blessed by absolutely everything...a favorite moment had to be the Wailing Wall. Loved, loved, loved seeing that red paint cover those prayers---ah, if we would believe that His Blood covers every single prayer we lift up, that God IS who He says He is...Father, help our unbelief! the price has already been paid!

Something I had wanted to post earlier, actually ties in more appropriately now:

And when they bring you to trial and deliver you over, do not be anxious beforehand what you are to say, but say whatever is given you in that hour, for it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit. (Mark 13:11, ESV)

Actually got to see my video testimony before we danced this evening. (ps-thank you, Lord, for Refuge...I'm so grateful to be a part of this Jesus-loving/dance-loving/food-loving family! ;)
I honestly felt kind of (really) lame to be crying over my own words - but the Holy Spirit was so quick to fix my thoughts - 'Emily, those are not your words - they are mine!' (ah! makes so much more sense now) Praise God.

Psalm 146 (AMP)

¹PRAISE THE Lord! (Hallelujah!) Praise the Lord, O my soul!

²While I live will I praise the Lord; I will sing praises to my God while I have any being.

³Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no help.

⁴When his breath leaves him, he returns to his earth; in that very day his [previous] thoughts, plans, and purposes perish.

⁵Happy (blessed, fortunate, enviable) is he who has the God of [special revelation to] Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the Lord his God,

⁶Who made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, Who keeps truth and is faithful forever,

⁷Who executes justice for the oppressed, Who gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets free the prisoners,

⁸The Lord opens the eyes of the blind, the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down, the Lord loves the [uncompromisingly] righteous (those upright in heart and in right standing with Him).

⁹The Lord protects and preserves the strangers and temporary residents, He upholds the fatherless and the widow and sets them upright, but the way of the wicked He makes crooked (turns upside down and brings to ruin).

¹⁰The Lord shall reign forever, even Your God, O Zion, from generation to generation. Praise the Lord! (Hallelujah!)


=)
Happy Easter!