Advent story

As promised. (or stated, rather.)

*as found in my journal on Thursday, December 2, 2010...home between classes & before work*

"encouraged. (ha! I think I found my blog post...)
Thinkin' there's something more to this whole 'advent' emails fiasco...even before church (PCC) on Sunday, I knew I wanted to embrace Christmas differently this year, with a fresh (undivided, reverent, worshipful) heart. Then, I find out we'll receive specific, advent emails to add to my quiet times?! perfect. Even added mom and dad to the email list because I was sooo excited & ready to UP our expectations. Then yesterday morning, dad received his email, but I hadn't seen mine? =/ (a little miffed, but fairly convinced it would come later.) Thennn, Jayme had hers, so I asked (with a pouty, selfish attitude) her to forward it to me. She did, and it was/IS a good word. I was still confused, so I re-added 2 of my email addresses to the PCC sign-up. This morning? Kept hitting snooze & still had no email. Then I had a random thought at school - hadn't Jayme and I just been talking about not having spam folders for work email? hm, but doesn't my Gmail have a spam filter? Why yes, yes it does. Lo & behold, December 1st & 2nd Advent emails to be moved from spam directly to my inbox. (Satan does NOT get this victory.) my heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast."

What reeeally hit me through this 3-day lesson...when I didn't receive what I was expecting when & where I expected it - it was such a struggle to keep my attitude in check. My expectant hopefulness had all too quickly shifted into selfish complacency. ohhhh, how this should NOT be!!
But you know what the prayer was in that December 2nd Advent email? it was me.

--> "Father You came to us and found us when we were lost and unable to find You. As we continue our Advent journey strengthen our hearts so that we may persevere as we hear Your righteous judgment spoken against Your wayward and rebellious children. We are all those who sin and we have no hope apart from You. Jesus, thank you for Your willing sacrifice and the gift of righteousness which only comes from You. Amen."