(note! previous post = last minute scholarship entry)
I feel, surprisingly refreshed, rejuvenated, re-focused, re-motivated.
Weird - feeling rested after a break? ah, such a concept. Hallelujah.
I'm wondering lately, what do I spend my time talking about the most?
Is it me?
Is it what I'm doing?
Is it my family?
Is it complaining?
Is it encouraging?
Am I professing Christ before man?
I don't know.
Reminded that I need to be thinking about the thoughts I think.
More intentionality, purpose, focus.
(you know?)
I want that.
and I can!
Do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Not desiring to be "normal" any more, because I think I'm finally accepting (again) that God has not called me to be "normal."
(or, perhaps I need to line up my definition of "normal" with His.)
Striving to take His Word as a command, not a suggestion.
And not be offended by His commands - He knows who He is and what He wants.
How comforting for such an indecisive, flighty person like myself.
thankful that God is BIG.
and that I can't fully comprehend/wrap my mind around who He is and what He does. glory.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Free to Fail (and get back up)
***THIS BLOG POST IS IN RESPONSE TO MICHAEL GOODWIN'S "FREEDOM TO FAIL" VIDEO***
"If you don't aim for anything, then that's what you're going to get every time." The other night, I was dialoging with my mentor, and this phrase came across her lips. As I reflect on decisions that I have made and the varied courses that I have seen friends pursue, I keep arriving at the conclusion that the "freedom to fail" is more internal than external. While there are portions of Goodwin's observations that I agree with, and will soon expound on, I believe the concept of failure lies within individual perspectives. Personally speaking, if I trace back from moments where I had "failed," it typically stemmed from areas where I had already felt inadequate or was ill-equipped for the situation. As much as someone believes they deserve to succeed, it is just as contorted to suppose that they deserve to fail.
Concerning Goodwin's viewpoint, there are current areas within my county's school system that cause me to concur with him. I am not certain if other states have attempted this project, but in various Georgia counties, they had (rather unsuccessfully) tried to condense their high school math curriculum by replacing traditional mathematics with the recently created Math I, II and III. This smorgasbord approach proved to be difficult both for the teachers to instruct and the students to understand. My mother has an independent tutoring business where she has been able to correct and redirect multiple students by supplementing their textbooks with more thorough resources. Thanks to the resourcefulness of high school parents, the diligence of my mother and the hard work from her clients, I believe an excellent capitalistic picture has been painted here. Rather than the parents choosing to attack the school board or individual teachers, they have used this opportunity not to pacify their children, but to guide them into cultivating behaviors for success.
I remember hearing Goodwin make the statement that, "without failure we can't succeed." Yes, there is some truth to that, but I believe that it goes deeper still - if we do not DO anything, we cannot succeed. Case in point - this scholarship essay. I only discovered this opportunity a few days ago, and my initial response was to not even try, because I thought it would give the appearance of laziness by submitting my response so close to the deadline. My own false assumption gives voice to my belief, that as long as we have the capacity to cognitively form our own decisions, we do not lack the freedom to fail.
"If you don't aim for anything, then that's what you're going to get every time." The other night, I was dialoging with my mentor, and this phrase came across her lips. As I reflect on decisions that I have made and the varied courses that I have seen friends pursue, I keep arriving at the conclusion that the "freedom to fail" is more internal than external. While there are portions of Goodwin's observations that I agree with, and will soon expound on, I believe the concept of failure lies within individual perspectives. Personally speaking, if I trace back from moments where I had "failed," it typically stemmed from areas where I had already felt inadequate or was ill-equipped for the situation. As much as someone believes they deserve to succeed, it is just as contorted to suppose that they deserve to fail.
Concerning Goodwin's viewpoint, there are current areas within my county's school system that cause me to concur with him. I am not certain if other states have attempted this project, but in various Georgia counties, they had (rather unsuccessfully) tried to condense their high school math curriculum by replacing traditional mathematics with the recently created Math I, II and III. This smorgasbord approach proved to be difficult both for the teachers to instruct and the students to understand. My mother has an independent tutoring business where she has been able to correct and redirect multiple students by supplementing their textbooks with more thorough resources. Thanks to the resourcefulness of high school parents, the diligence of my mother and the hard work from her clients, I believe an excellent capitalistic picture has been painted here. Rather than the parents choosing to attack the school board or individual teachers, they have used this opportunity not to pacify their children, but to guide them into cultivating behaviors for success.
I remember hearing Goodwin make the statement that, "without failure we can't succeed." Yes, there is some truth to that, but I believe that it goes deeper still - if we do not DO anything, we cannot succeed. Case in point - this scholarship essay. I only discovered this opportunity a few days ago, and my initial response was to not even try, because I thought it would give the appearance of laziness by submitting my response so close to the deadline. My own false assumption gives voice to my belief, that as long as we have the capacity to cognitively form our own decisions, we do not lack the freedom to fail.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
100%
Isn't that the grade you want to see at the top of every test?
Just some solid, academic proof that your hours of diligent studying really did pay off?
Then, when you DO receive that validation that comes from 100%, your heart is lighter, the air is fresher, your professor suddenly doesn't seem so dreadful and God is worthy to be praised!
But -
What if you did not receive 100%? What if it was only 82%? (fact: it was) All of those hours you spent pouring over texts and watching far too many Youtube videos about photosynthesis and cellular respiration suddenly seemed fruitless and pointless. Could your heart still be light and the air still be fresh? Could you still speak blessings over your instructor and find something to thank God for?
I had been wrestling with this, particularly by the time I received my third 82 (haha, seriously?! bizarre. Now, it makes me chuckle & praise Jesus for extra credit.) My attitude at the time? Sheer chagrin:
:-)
Eventually, I worked my way towards "Ok, Father...I know that from You and through You and to You are ALL things...so howww am I supposed to glorify you through this failure??" (maybe not FAILURE, but still. you get it.) But this was honestly my question - this is what happened, so there has to be a way for God to still receive glory through this...just a matter of getting my own attitude out of the way.
So, in an effort to decrease myself and increase my perspective of God in this situation (as petty & fleeting as it is in the grand scheme of life), I did what anyone else would do: since I made an 82, that must mean I should read Psalm 82!
(you think I'm kidding.)
Nope, totally did it.
What did I gather? A broader viewpoint - Rescue the Weak and Needy.
humbled. convicted. Yet, still not satisfied & prone to whine.
"But God, what if I had made 100? What would you say THEN?"
(so thankful for His patience...I would've slapped me by now.)
Psalm 100? oh nothing, just A PSALM FOR GIVING THANKS.
"Don't wait to thank Me. Don't wait to praise Me. Yes, I will show you how to better prepare, but test grades aside - I AM worthy to be praised. Worthy to receive thanks. Period."
ahh, and just because God IS so very patient and gracious and relentless and wonderful, I met Psalm 50 the other day. (thankfully, not because of a test result this time.)
verse 23~ "The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me;
to one who orders his way rightly
I will show the salvation of God!"
That's the latest.
also, Psalm 126:5-6 = encouraging.
God is in control. He knows.
Love!
Just some solid, academic proof that your hours of diligent studying really did pay off?
Then, when you DO receive that validation that comes from 100%, your heart is lighter, the air is fresher, your professor suddenly doesn't seem so dreadful and God is worthy to be praised!
But -
What if you did not receive 100%? What if it was only 82%? (fact: it was) All of those hours you spent pouring over texts and watching far too many Youtube videos about photosynthesis and cellular respiration suddenly seemed fruitless and pointless. Could your heart still be light and the air still be fresh? Could you still speak blessings over your instructor and find something to thank God for?
I had been wrestling with this, particularly by the time I received my third 82 (haha, seriously?! bizarre. Now, it makes me chuckle & praise Jesus for extra credit.) My attitude at the time? Sheer chagrin:
–noun
1. a feeling of vexation, marked by disappointment or humiliation.
:-)
Eventually, I worked my way towards "Ok, Father...I know that from You and through You and to You are ALL things...so howww am I supposed to glorify you through this failure??" (maybe not FAILURE, but still. you get it.) But this was honestly my question - this is what happened, so there has to be a way for God to still receive glory through this...just a matter of getting my own attitude out of the way.
So, in an effort to decrease myself and increase my perspective of God in this situation (as petty & fleeting as it is in the grand scheme of life), I did what anyone else would do: since I made an 82, that must mean I should read Psalm 82!
(you think I'm kidding.)
Nope, totally did it.
What did I gather? A broader viewpoint - Rescue the Weak and Needy.
humbled. convicted. Yet, still not satisfied & prone to whine.
"But God, what if I had made 100? What would you say THEN?"
(so thankful for His patience...I would've slapped me by now.)
Psalm 100? oh nothing, just A PSALM FOR GIVING THANKS.
"Don't wait to thank Me. Don't wait to praise Me. Yes, I will show you how to better prepare, but test grades aside - I AM worthy to be praised. Worthy to receive thanks. Period."
ahh, and just because God IS so very patient and gracious and relentless and wonderful, I met Psalm 50 the other day. (thankfully, not because of a test result this time.)
verse 23~ "The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me;
to one who orders his way rightly
I will show the salvation of God!"
That's the latest.
also, Psalm 126:5-6 = encouraging.
God is in control. He knows.
Love!
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